23

    May

  1. Goofy is the only classic Disney character who has had sex.

    artninja-mcrockviking:

    Mickey has nephews, Donald has nephews, Goofy has a son.

    And he wasn’t adopted, he looks just like him.

    Goofy……has had sex.
    Goofy…..has known a woman biblically….

    Imagine what it must’ve looked like.
    Imagine what it sounded like.

    These are the things I think about when I wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat.

    2. Source: what-is-this-i-dont-even
    21

    May
    • british: american people are so annoying
    • chinese: american people are so annoying
    • mexicans: american people are so annoying
    • french: american people are so annoying
    • americans: we are so annoying
    • canadians: I fucking love maple syrup
    3. Source: imjustsuchahappymesswhoah
    21

    May

  3. (Source: cyanideangel)

    4. Source: imjustsuchahappymesswhoah
    21

    May

  4. Catvengers, assemble!

    5. Source: iamsuperficial
    19

    May

  5. What's wrong with our society.

    • Kim Kardashian: I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce
    • America: Well sure why not?
    • Britney Spears: I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
    • America: Whatever you want!
    • Carmen Electra: I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol
    • America: Okay, sounds like fun!
    • Gay couple: We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and -
    • America: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO
    6. Source: imjustsuchahappymesswhoah
    19

    May
    7. Source: neatfreak47
    08

    Apr

  7. no cough syrup

    you are not ‘grape flavoured’

    have you ever tasted a grape

    you taste like death and the tears of small children

    not fucking grape

    (Source: sexybritishllama)

    8. Source: fatpeoplemakemehappy
    18

    Mar
  8. fugrats: unfreshing: I saw a real life ginger Asian it wont have a soul or big dick how sad I… wha… how… I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now.

    fugrats:

    unfreshing:

    I saw a real life ginger Asian

    it wont have a soul or big dick how sad

    I… wha… how…

    I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now.

    9. Source: blackmormon
    18

    Mar

  9. kawaiians:

    i have to pee but the bathroom’s all the way in the bathroom

    10. Source: laaandshark
    26

    Feb

  10. Simon says jump.

    Simon didn’t say land, you’re all out.

    Me:

    Everyone playing:

    (Source: most-awkward-moments)

    11. Source: neatfreak47
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